EvY at HomE

After I learned that I was an Enneagram 3 I mostly ignored the fact that I was also a w4. The 4 types are the artistic creative types that thrive on being original and creative and moody. I used to say that “I’m not creative” but boy is that not true. I think I put some stock into creative having to mean artistic in that we can paint, draw, or sculpt or play an instrument. But being creative, or feeling that need to create… to exist in creative spaces and to put beauty into the world is vital. As I’m writing this I am sitting in my “Room of Requirement”: the home office that functions as playroom, den, tea parlor, lady cave, guest room, home school, and sometimes office. I painted the room in a beautiful grassy green and I have a mauve couch, pink chair, and yellow sideboard. There is a disco ball and plants and framed art and drawings made by the kids and all kinds of colorful and happy things surrounding me. I wanted this space to be a reflection of me and the things I love and you w...

About… 3 years ago my former church (recently former, we dissolved and that’s a whole essay) got really into talking about the Enneagram personality test. Out of curiosity I took the test and learned to my chagrin that I was an Enneagram 3 (w4). The Achiever. “The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptable, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious”. When I read the description of my personality type I said “no, this can’t be me, this person sounds like an asshole.” So I took the test again and I got the same result. Dammit, I am the asshole. Once I came to terms with the numbers being correct I started reading about what that personality types’ driving forces are. What makes them feel seen and appreciated. What their underlying motivations are. It was all true. I was driven by wanting to feel valuable and worthwhile, I did want to feel that I was the best and that I stood out. I was acutely aware of how I was projecting my image at work and in life.   The 2nd day of my journal writi...