she actually makes a sucky day better

Well after my last post I'm gonna go ahead and downgrade this pregnancy from better than last time to definitely worse than last time. With Alice I was mostly sick in the morning and then mostly fine as long as I kept food in my stomach. This time, I'm sick all day and I can't eat certain foods or else they make me throw up and I don't like anything so yeah, it's a big pile of sucky. SO MUCH THROWING UP. I've not been working the past three weeks and you know what, I think God knew this pregnancy was gonna reach the tip of the crap-berg because I have needed the time off to be home and near a toilet the past few weeks. Which brings me to why that's a little trickier: Alice. 

On Tuesday and Wednesday Matt worked and while I desperately wanted to get us two out of the house and out on adventures, I just... couldn't. I skipped church on Sunday and I've not been in the mood to socialize, I just spend a lot of time at home with my little pal. I can't particularly be productive because I get projects going and if anyone knows what it's like having a little kid around you will be interrupted a bunch of times for snacks, water, and simply because they want you around ALL THE TIME. I'm literally throwing my guts out into the kitchen sink and she's yelling Mama! Mama! from the table because she wants more blueberries. 

And of course I'm not mad at her. I'm not even mildly annoyed by her. She is such a good kid and such a freaking sweetheart and I just feel bad that I keep her cooped up but even the simplest act of walking to the grocery store and then the park with her led me to me throwing up in the Sprouts and barely making it and peeing my shorts! It's just easier right now to just stay home until this passes. Which should hopefully be soon. Right?

She discovered letters and is obsessed with them. I taught her to spell F-O-X just because of a scene in You've Got Mail that makes me laugh but she loves that game and starts prompting me "Mama, Mama...F! F!" Oh she finally started repeating things. Hippo. Apple. Turtle. Turtle is a really funny one, she will keep saying it until you acknowledge her and repeat it. She can identify the letter F, pretty proud of that one. It's her initial!

Wednesday I was able to get us out of the house to go to the zoo for a few hours and she had fun and it's honestly good for me to be out and about because at least it gets my mind off the all day nausea and walking helps too. I'm desperate to go to Disneyland. Hoping I can get it together next week. But Thursday, oh Thursday. I was sick all day and feeling worthless. No job, can't cook right now, can't take out the trash, clogging the toilet AND sink with throw up, start cleaning projects and then don't finish them because I get interrupted or decide sleep is more important (and it freaking IS)... just feeling bummed out. And she wouldn't nap. She stayed in her crib and refused to sleep, just hung out in there playing with her monkey, tossing, then she got loud and that was the end of my attempt to nap. But I wasn't even mad. I think she is going through developmental stuff and her brain didn't let her sleep and we hadn't made the effort to tire her out which usually helps. So I was up with her and let her watch another Toy Story movie. Then a third. SIX hours of TV in one day, though they were spaced out with playtime and such but yeah, SIX hours.

She doesn't just sit there of course, she wiggles around, she bounces on the couch, she plays with other toys, she watches her daddy mow the lawn from the window.

Thanks for mowing the lawn honey, and taking out the trash. And the dishes. And well, everything.

And while she didn't need the nap I sure did. So I laid on the couch while she watched the movie and I tried to rest but she'd try to lay down next to me and would smack me unintentionally in the stomach, or arm, or face. There was not much rest. But there was some sweet snuggles. And then she likes it when I throw the blanket over her and she giggles like crazy and then she likes it when I go under the blanket with her and she pretends to whisper to me like how I pretend its our secret and no one can see us under the fort. And then she finally learned to give a real kiss on the cheek and then and then she correctly identified daddy and mama on the magnet picture and she says 'buff' instead of "buzz" and then said meemee for Minnie and then she let me hold her during the scene where Andy's mom is saying goodbye to him as she stands in his empty room as he goes away to college and then she held my hand during the scene where all the toys are holding hands and then she let me hold her the whole time the toys played with andy the last time. And when I told her it was bedtime she ran and gave her daddy a kiss and grabbed her monkey and headed to the bedroom without a fight. 

And that after a crappy day for me I realize... it was a really really good day, thanks to Alice.

(And that I can't write blog posts about her because I cry so hard my head hurts)