2018: a nice change

I guess I never got around to recapping 2017. DOH. 

I had this post ready with pictures but I'll do that later!

2018 overall was about survival with two small children. And survive we did and near the end we started to thrive.

ALICE: Alice turned 4 this year and going to preschool three days a week for three hours a day. She's learned about what a "best friend" is and wants to rank everyone accordingly. She has a few "best friends" at school and we had ONE play date with her very gregarious bestie and her mom but that was enough to cement a partnership. Watching them play together has been an absolute joy and nothing makes a mom feel better than knowing their kid is beloved by her peers.

Matt worked so hard to get her to use the potty. It feels so long ago that we went through that whole process because seriously... it was a process. The chart incentive worked as well as having her own little potty and going with zero pull ups because she would just wait to pee or poop when they were on. We had to buy a little potty seat to get her to go in public restrooms in the beginning and all kinds of other things but she's got the hang of it now without any additional tools. Recently, through no prompting from us she decided that she didn't want to wear a pull up at night anymore and it's been a few weeks without incident. 

She's really great at this age too in compliance. I can easily take her with me on errands and she sits quietly and talks and needs not much but some attention, not even a device. She has really funny sentence structures and still has a mild speech baby talk thing like how she pronounces Ls for example lunch is yonch. 

Her personality was a mixed bag. She's capable of being so kind and sweet with us and then decides to be a butthead for no reason, particularly with Matt. We'd realized that she's been yelling and talking back to us a lot so we all made a promise to no longer yell in our home. She still has a ridiculous diet but added cheese pizza and ice cream to the mix thank goodness. I gotta figure out a way to sneak nutrition in her. Milkshakes? Smoothies? 

She and I are pretty tight lately and I am relishing it as much as possible knowing those tween/teen years come all too fast to steal my girl. She's always been super easy to love and even easier to like. I think we just got a good hand with Alice, her personality is different than mine so I think that's why we get along. She's gotten a little more physically affectionate because we worked on it with her. The Five Love Languages book said that even if your child is definitely not prone to one of the languages, Alice's being touch, that as a parent you should show her healthy expressions of it so she can easily spot unhealthy ways. She hugs us and kisses us way more now all on her own. Matt and I are so desperate for it that when she sits near us we both know as a rule that we CANNOT move. I'll bring him water or snacks and he'll do the same because it's so rare when she does that that we live that moment.

FAMILY (extended, my side): We got another baby in December. My sister Mari had a daughter, Ava Delmi making that three sisters that have both a boy and a girl. Pretty crazy odds right? We've hung out at parties but this year felt like most everyone stuck to their families, not that that's a bad thing! I just think we all had a lot going on within ourselves and our families. 

I do not take for granted what a good relationship the four of us sisters have. Sometimes I get caught up in what female relationships I lack and I remember that no matter what women surround me in my life, I will always have my sisters. I love these cacas.

We went to visit my sister Liz for Thanksgiving who bought a house! It's so good to know that she's in a home that her family can stretch out in and swim and play in with space. This is the third member of our family to buy a home in America. Not bad for kids who grew up on welfare and food stamps.

FAMILY (extended, matt's side): Matt's sister moved to Redlands and remodeled her home in the cutest way and in the cutest neighborhood. Matt spent a lot of time with his family while I was on the movie since they help him feel less alone and sometimes he can sneak a nap thanks to his parents generosity. There was lots of grandparent babysitting when we needed dates and they'd often meet us at Knott's for family hang time.

FASHION: The EvY uniform continued this year and was refined and honed. I bought a few cold weather items around November to last me through the winter and a replacement jacket for my varsity one. I've been really enjoying the process of crafting my uniform since it makes getting dressed way easy and I enjoy how I look. I find myself lusting after clothes less now. I know what I need and I stick to those things.

FITNESS: BAD. WORSE. Next.

FOOD: Ugh, probably THE worst year I've ever had in regards to both making food and eating food. I completely lost control. I ate terribly. And I worked so much that I never had the energy or desire to make food so we had a lotttt of take out. Definitely bad.

FRIENDS (new): I went out on lots of coffee dates! Around September I was free a lot so I just started taking women out for one on one coffee dates. It was awesome. A cheap way to feel social and get some quality time with a friend I don't know as well. One particular friend was Melissa who has three grown daughters. She was our small group leader but she and I bonded and went on TWO coffee dates and would have kept going if not for her and her family moving to Tokyo for only the coolest job ever that her husband has. She'll be back in a year hopefully and I misses her.

Corey Wilburn came into my atmosphere in a more profound way. We walked together through some low lows and some fun highs. And of course, the women of the Carbon leadership, my gems. 

FRIENDS (old): The HUODlums and I hung out one time in Pasadena this summer for a lovely evening and the next day for a bit too. Ambre moved to Ireland for a year. Man-D and I had lunch once during her work and Michelle and I text on the regular so we're all in each other's orbit just not in person so much. I love them forever and miss them always.

FRIENDS (playdates): It was tough setting up playdates this year I'm not sure why. We had one great playdate where we inaugurated our backyard play pen and people came and hung out exactly as we envisioned people hanging out. 

GOODBYES: My father's mother, Patrocinio Robles passed away in January. She and I were not very close but she made my dad the man he is today and he and she were very close. He always called her "jefecita" "little boss lady". We last saw her when she was on hospice two years ago and even though she couldn't say much, we could tell she was happy to see us. The one positive thing about her passing was that we saw a lot of my dad's family at the funeral and reconnected on instagram and in person. Sometimes it takes losing people to get closer, let's not wait for that.

HOME: Baby-proofing took on a whole new meaning with Walter Rey Fredrich. He was way more busy and curious than Alice was so we had to rethink all the things we had at eye level and added new locks to the majority of our cabinetry. We still have to work around Wally a LOT, like we had to move our step ladder out of reach and he reaches for knives so... grey hairs this child!

The biggest best thing we did was the backyard "play pen"! With our income tax refund money we designated some money so we could build a fence and artificially turf the backyard play area. Between Matt, Matt's dad, Alice (who handed me screws very diligently) and myself we built the fence and we had professionals install the turf.

I cannot explain to you what a change it made to the backyard. We spend a lot of time there (well, not so much this winter) and I just love that the kids can play there safely and independently. We purposefully only have small type play things: a play house, a sand box, an outdoor grill, outdoor kid size picnic table, and a water table. No swings or something that can cause injury. During the summer we would picnic there a lot

The other home improvement was painting the guest bath finally! One step closer to painting the main living space/kitchen and master bath. Someday!

MARRIAGE: While we had a few more date nights than we have in years past and even a weekend to ourselves for my birthday and our anniversary. But overall, trying to survive life with two small children left us with little energy for each other. I think it's sometimes like you're just both these Clydesdales pulling the cart forward and you're so focused looking forward that you don't look to the side. I've heard this from many parents of young kids. But it does get better, right? The one good takeaway from this is that Matt and I realize how much we actually like each other and miss each other when we don't have enough quality time together. So that's a good thing right?!

MEDIA: In May I had a kick trying to watch a classic film every night and let me tell you, what an enjoyable experience. I think I was on a superhero overload and the break was very welcome. I discovered some terrific films I hadn't heard of before, some serious impacters and I wanna do it again this year. I read a few books this year, really enjoyed Ender's Game and went to a book signing for Susan Orlean at the Library which has shifted any book wanting to the library. Anything I want to read, it's either gotta be owned already or get from the library. I got way more acquainted with an app called Rb Digital which lets you check out magazines onto your iPad FOR FREE using your library card so I have zero library subscriptions. Also, Matt finally started watching Scrubs praise be.

MONEY: 2018 was better than 2017 but we had a very lean summer after the trip to Aptos and I wrote about how not spending money was in no way an indicator of a life well lived. We truly enjoyed trying to do free things and not buying things wasn't a big deal. The year ended with a lot of work so we were able to be generous with our family during Christmas and bought presents for almost all the nieces and nephews, our parents, and most siblings.

PARTIES: We threw Wally the most epic 1st birthday party of all time. At the end of it, Matt said he felt bad for me because I would never be able to top it. To be honest, throwing a Disneyland themed birthday party has been on my parties to throw list for years but when we named him Walter after the man himself, I knew his first birthday would be Disneyland themed and began mentally planning it but the execution was pretty insane. I think we had about 60 guests including perhaps 20 children, a sing along starring Moana, a parade, a balloon vendor, mickey and minnie ears, and of course: a train. Am I insane for throwing my son a birthday party like that? Absolutely. But it was 1000 percent worth it. 

My good friend Dana's Baby Shower was another masterpiece. Again, this is one of those themes I've been wanting to do for a long time and it fit perfectly for Dana being an outdoorsy gal. Her and her husband camp a lot but of course their type of camping is way more rugged than the moderate glamping theme we went with. 

My goal of course was for her to love it and when she stood here and looked down the driveway she cried tears of joy so I think it was a win.  I did learn from past mistakes and shade was a priority this time around so we rented some tents for seating. The women were blown away with the cuteness and I must say, some of my best work in the party department. 

This party has led to me thinking even more than I have in the past about trying to monetize my event planning. I have ideas and I've actually already made my first $40 on it so that's the seed to plant my business. 

Those were my two large PERSONAL parties/events. There were smaller mini hangs but nothing like those two. But, being a part of the women's planning committee and leading our church's Christmas decor team meant I got to be a part of two events that other people paid for where I wasn't the main "client". First off in October we had the kickoff brunch event for our women's ministry. We began meeting in January (the SPIRIT section will detail Carbon a little more) and planned the event for months and months. Three of us spearheaded it and I made the vast decisions creatively of the look and feel of it and together we planned and executed it. I have never been a part of a group where we are so in sync and so efficient. I left the night before the setup around 5 and planned to go back to work until midnight but my co-leader told me they were done. Could NOT believe it. The event was a big hit and we're still planning monthly events for the women of our church. 

I had a few interesting if conflicted feelings about the event on the day. I'm pretty used to being in charge of my events and parties and putting my mark on every. single. thing. No one questions who did it all because I usually do it all. But with this event since things were distributed and it came during a time when work got super busy, I wasn't as involved as I usually am. In a good way. In a way I'm not used to as well. For example, I schemed the look and made a mood board but someone else was hired to buy the things and she was there setting it up. All the things she did were within my mood board and it was all great but I felt odd that this woman came in and didn't know who I was and what I had influenced. I guess that's sort of me having a hard time letting go and delegating because NO WAY could I have done the physical buying and setting up, no way. And boy was it great having a team, boy howdy! On the day, I just hung out and kicked back and answered questions. We were a well oiled machine and it takes some getting used to letting go of the control. Less stress though, I could get used to that. 

The other thing I worked on for our church was Christmas. Decorating for Christmas in particular and also helping to decorate for the Christmas event itself. At first I was a little like no I'm not sure I have the energy or creativity or time to help do this and then I had a meeting with one of the staff members and by the end of that meeting I had a theme, a pinterest board and a plan. *emoji shrug* I just can't help myself. We spent a long day setting up on the 1st of December and the morning of December 2nd I laid in bed and opened instagram so I could see if my social media savy pastor would post about what I'd done and boy did he deliver. You know when Chip & Jo pull the wall back and say "ready to see your fixer-upper" I never get to see people's reactions and my pastor's opinion mattered the most so his was the most important reaction and thankfully, he recorded himself as he saw it all for the first time and here I have stolen screen grabs of his reactions and words and judge for yourself if you think he liked it.

The event itself... meh. Not that wild about it. But my photo booth looked bomb. 

PETS: Poor neglected dogs. Again.

SPIRIT: This was big for Matt and I this year. Matt joined a men's group that rocked his world and I was asked to be part of the women's ministry planning group/leadership team. January 23, 2018 after a Sunday at church where I felt myself praying that I wanted to be a part of something involving women I got this email:

I have been tasked with getting the Women’s Ministry(I hate that name)  off the ground.  I would love to talk with you about the possibility of you serving on the that committee.  The commitment would be a once a month planning/think tank with a launch of the ministry this fall.  

And plan we did. Together, a group of 13 incredible type A different and dope chicks came up with a mission, a name, and events to serve the women of our church. We meet once a month and we get so much done and are so in tune with our game plan that I scarcely believe it. We literally fixed our logo together. We've gotten to know each other a little over the past year and I've learned so much from them and actually want to get to know them better! 

I dunno if this falls in the spirit category but I went to therapy for a full year and boy howdy did it help! Matt and I went through a HUGE growth in 2018 and therapy was instrumental.

THEME PARKS: Knott's Passes! We were there like... a lot. Matt more than me and Wally is now VERY interested in the characters much like Alice was. It's a great way to spend a day as a family and not be distracted with work or house things to do.

TRAVEL: We had one trip as a family for a real vacation and one trip to my sister's for Thanksgiving. The trip to Northern California was to celebrate having survived a film and it was very needed. We rented a condo in Aptos and were there for a week. It was a terrific blend of activities for the kids and some downtime at the place for us. We didn't schedule the days as good as I could have to coincide with Wally's naps and he was very wily and at that time, had a very small attention span. I don't think that'll be a problem going forward but we learned that trips with little kids is a challenge. 

The Thanksgiving trip was much different with Wally. He'd rarely nap but he was much more easy to manage even just a few months later. What a difference a few months makes for a little kid.

WALLY: Oh Walter Rey Fredrich. In January he was here:

In December, he was here:

He was/is a lot different than Alice. They told us a lot about how boys were different than girls and I thought pft, that's just a stereotype but boy this boy. Active. Busy. Climb-y. Clingy with mom. Sometimes he just wants me to carry him on my hip and it can't just be any side, he always wants to be on my left hip and would shift himself over. Then he'd be content and just wanted to be where mom and the action was. He is also very stubborn when he doesn't get his way. Unlike Alice where we could distract her pretty easily away from what she wanted, Wally does not let it go. He cries, he points, he keeps running back to the thing screaming. And we don't give in but man, it's a battle. 

But the cute stuff... oh the cute stuff! And seriously people, my son is one of the cutest little boys I've ever seen period and I can't believe we made a child so beautiful. He's unreal.

Like Alice, he doesn't talk much at almost 2 but he does communicate. Most of it is in adorable signature what we call Wally grunts and will have full convos with you about things. There is no doubt he understands and that he is trying to tell us things.  Having a big sister has made him much more responsive to pretend play since he has someone to emulate and he plays WAY better by himself now. For months and months and only until very recently has he really started playing for longer. I had moments where I look up from making dinner and there they are, playing together.  A miracle as well as a wonderful, welcome sight.

He shares. He likes to help. He likes tasks. He likes to close the gate behind us or the front door. One evening, I came home and left a bag of groceries by the door and went to the kitchen and he brought the bag to me in the kitchen, grunting under the weight the whole way. I was flabbergasted. This cute little thing!

He's pretty empathetic too. When Alice is crying, he wants to comfort her. She threw an epic tantrum once and crawled under the table and within a few minutes, he crawled under it and patted her and grunted words of encouragement. 

Recently, he did one of the cutest things we've ever seen. We were sitting around the table having dinner and I look up from my food and Wally is sitting there hands outstretched. I realize that he has watched Alice so often that he was wondering why we weren't praying. So we all held hands and then we bowed our heads and I asked him if he wanted to pray so he grunted his prayer, then looks up when he thinks he's done and waits for us to say "Amen". The three of us melted into a puddle. Alice ran over and hugged him and said "That's so cute Wally!" 

WORK: I had way more work this year than last. The biggest work thing was... I worked on a movie! It will be released this year and when you sit in the theatre during the credits, my name will be there!

So that was 2018 and it took me approximately a month to write this post and I still feel like I didn't finish but Wally's probably gonna wake up from a nap soon so this is the best you're gonna get!