EvY at HomE

I started journaling when I was 12 years old, 2 months shy of my 13th birthday. The very first journal I bought was at the 99 Cent Store and the first entry was December 11, 1994. It had a green spine and a photo of a grey kitty cat on a branch with some pink flowers. My parents have been divorced as long as I remember and it was a dad weekend and he gave us some money to buy whatever we wanted at the store and being the stationary nerd I am I, of course, bought a blank book! I took it home and immediately started writing in it: “This is my journal. I keep it to write down my most private thoughts about everyone including myself. I want to express my feelings in many ways but everyone thinks I’m weird as it is.” Annoyingly this will be told from the point of view of a person who’s spent time in therapy, counseling, and has learned a lot about herself and grown as a person so I’ll have very obvious notes about 12 year old me. Then again, do we want to ask a 12 year old what she thinks i...

 I will be 40 in less than a month and for some reason have the insane idea to write 40 essays on turning 40.  Some will be long. Some will be short. Some will be funny and ridiculous. Some will be hard to read.  Over the course of the year I'll drop them here. So here they come. 40 for 40. 

 I have been sending the same gif to anyone who sends me a "Happy New Year" Text: Do I feel particularly happy or celebratory? No. So many factors play into this Lieutenant Dan on New Year's vibe... take a pick! COVID, kids, expectations, exhaustion from a long work year, COVID, but we know the real reason New Year's Eve became a national day of mourning : We lost the last Golden Girl, our Rose Nylund, America's Grandma just a few weeks shy of her official 100th birthday. I gotta tell you, her death I knew, would hit me when it happened but the way it hit me was a little unexpected. I know she's a literal stranger to me but her face is in my house in multiple places and she's felt like a part of my life for decades. What a lady. What a life! I spent the last day of 2021 just watching Betty White clips, reading Betty White tweets & tributes, and watching Golden Girls episodes. I got it together enough to setup a little New Year's Eve dinner table an...