Tuesday, September 27, 2016


Last Thursday Matt and I celebrated being married and still liking each other for nine whole years. On the day before we went to Disneyland since it was our last day as annual passholders so we spent the night at our in-laws and we had a picnic at the park where we got married. With both our kids. Kinda. Sorta.
After that we spent three nights in Big Bear just the two of us while Alice had the time of her life with her grandparents. We slept in late, we napped, we stayed up late, we went out to dinner, we went bowling, we went hiking, we stared at a fireplace, we saw a killer Metalachi concert, we just enjoyed being together. I highly recommend it.

Happy 9th Anniversary Honey Pie. To many more getaways to come (after we survive having two kids).

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

confessions of a crappy pregnancy

I wake up in the morning and feel slightly okay sometimes. I optimistically hope that maybe today will be a better day, maybe I've rounded a corner. I eat a bagel and a few hours later I'm nauseated again. Nope, just another day.

I need more protein but I have a hard time eating bean burritos. I can't make the fake meats because that means I have to cook them and that means opening the fridge.

The fridge is my enemy. So is the supermarket. And sometimes Disneyland. And anywhere smells permeate. I never noticed them before but now, boy do I. I can smell everything with a hyper sensitivity akin to superpower.

I get jealous of people just walking into Denny's. I watch them and think "Lucky them, they can just walk into a restaurant and know that they'll be able to order something and enjoy it." I haven't set foot in a restaurant in weeks. Food is always to go. I order two things because I will take a bite of one thing then decide nope, I don't like this.

One of my favorite things to eat used to be french fries, can't stand them right now.

Nothing tastes particularly good lately. I don't really want anything, I just decide based on what sounds the least repulsive and less likely to make me throw up.

I have to scroll through instagram very quickly in case of food pictures.

I also skip through parts of Alice's storybooks that have food.

I don't want to eat anything. I am never really hungry, I have to MAKE myself eat pretty much every two hours because otherwise I end up in the toilet.

I've missed so much church because when Matt serves it's just me and Alice and getting both of us dressed and fed and somewhere by 9:30am just doesn't happen.

Sometimes when I'm home with Alice by myself I let her watch way too much TV and play with the iPad for way too long because all I want to do is lay on the couch. She waffles between jumping all over me and squishing me in the tummy area to bringing me her stuffed monkey and tucking me in with a blanket.

I don't ever really want to go anywhere because that I just don't know how I'm going to be feeling. I make sure I've been fed and have mints, ginger candy, and gum before I leave in case I have to just try to stifle the nausea until I'm back in the comfort of my home.

A few weeks ago before I went on anti-nausea medication I felt so isolated and sad that I just cried a lot. I'd sit on the floor of the bathroom and just cry.

I tried to take Alice to the park one day and it was so hot that I barely made it there, she played for a few minutes and I took us back home and laid on the couch, exhausted.

Is this gonna get better? Why does my body act this way with pregnancy?

I am so glad I'm never gonna be pregnant again after this baby. I do not ever want to feel this awful again.

I feel so disconnected from this baby. I resent it sometimes for making me feel so awful. I don't look forward to meeting it as much as I look forward to just not being pregnant anymore. I hate feeling this way. I hate not being excited and looking forward to this new life when all I feel is bad.

Time is crawling by right now. Every day feels like a week.

Monday, September 19, 2016

the guest bath right now

It's a black and white mish-mash in this tiny room but we dig it.
We got a new curtain for it, went with stripes predictably. 
I bought this basket from Magnolia, Chip & Joanna's store. 
I can honestly tell you I looked at a trillion baskets for over the toilet and this one was it.
I used some gift wrap to wallpaper the back of this here cubby.
Alice's cup with her toothpaste and toothbrush. "Baff" "Teef", she has trouble with 'th'. 
Her bath stuff. Sometimes I like bath time and sometimes it's such a splashy chore.
Sometimes I forget her initials are AF.
See? Too much mish-mash. Different rug maybe now that the shower curtain is in.
The ole hipster Portland bathroom. I hope to paint it before the sequel arrives.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

making room for baby

Well despite our denial and my crappy pregnancy, a baby is coming in early March. Regardless of gender, eventually this sequel will be sharing a room with Alice. Alice still sleeps in her crib and we're planning on keeping her in there until she starts climbing out of it so this baby will have to sleep somewhere else which we were planning on and we did when Alice was a baby. 

Alice did not like sleeping in pack 'n play (which had a bassinet insert) by itself. It was either uncomfortable or too large for her but as soon as she would be put in it, she was up. It was tricky working out what worked for her and we ended up with this nighttime solution which is that we'd put her in one of those bouncy chairs and then put that on top of the pack 'n play. 
During the day she'd sleep anywhere but at night we'd try to keep her in our room so we could sleep and she could sleep and at night our room became a 2nd nursery. We had a changing pad we'd use for middle of the night changes and had spare swaddles and clothes and diapers. It was all higgledy-piggledy but it worked for us during those early days when feeding was round the clock and she didn't sleep all night yet. 
Well Graco makes a way better version of what we had done with a little chair that's made just for that and has a built in changing table AND a little side diaper holder thing! This is what we should have had the first time if I'd known what I know now. Since Alice will be using her room at night and we don't want to interrupt her precious night time sleep, the baby will be living in our room until it's sleeping all night and eventually put them together. Bunk beds or something else.
Meanwhile, in Alice's room, the room where we she sleeps, naps, and is changed since she plays in the living room and the office, I made some room for future baby items. I assume PJs and onesies and socks and hats will make their home in the empty areas. 
And unless Alice shows signs of serious potty training, we'll be a family of two diaper sizes (UGH) and tiny newborn diapers should fit here.
I also put out the last of her 2T clothes in the closet so now there's a bin underneath so we can put tiny baby clothes until we put them in drawers.
Baby toys are still hanging out here even after she outgrew them since baby's keep visiting our house. Bin 1 has those things and honestly, one bin of baby toys is PLENTY.
In the closet I have this pop-up hamper with baby gear in it that my sister returned. More of it is coming, some bouncy chairs, etc. Seeing the little seahorse... sniffle. Alice loved it.
I think I wanna get things gathered at least and then really go into baby prep mode like a month before. Unlike last time where it was so much time to think now we want to spend our time watching Alice cheese it up before she's dethroned as the center of our universe.
I can't believe I'm gonna have KIDS. TWO of them.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Alice Language

This is "Buff".
 This is "Dot"
This is "Mee Mee"

She is WILD about Buzz. She's been reading this Toy Story 2 storybook to herself and all I can make out every other word is "Buff" "Buff".

Friday, September 2, 2016

bonus/multi-purpose rooms

I always love seeing what people do with their bonus rooms. I live in a real estate desert of tiny houses with absolutely no extra space whatsoever. I mean, oh yeah, technically we have a converted garage that's a guest house but we rent it out so we don't have any extra space. Anyway, I love seeing the blogs of homes in places where there aren't earthquakes where they have extra rooms like basements or attics that can be converted into awesome bonus rooms. 

This one has got it going on in terms of looks. I love the different zones for tv watching, crafting/dining/homework and play. It's inspiring my living room big time.
This one's a little more kiddie like, not as sophisticated as the other room but still has spaces for tv watching and for the kids to play. I guess I'd call it more of a play room.
But this one, holy crap. It's a basement apartment!