she just wants mom

The past two days Alice has been nursing pretty much nonstop. Eating and eating and not sleeping longer than 10 minutes at a time. It's been incredibly frustrating for me since all I can do is sit there and feed her. No precious nap for a tired mommy.

Matt was at work yesterday and I spent the day alone with her trying everything to get her relaxed enough to sleep. She'd zonk out while eating and then I'd rock her and lay her somewhere and BOOP her eyes were suddenly wide open. She'd smile at me or just stare at me and I was going madder than a hatter. I couldn't wait for Matt to come home so he could help. As I finally got the miraculous text that he was packing up I was laying on the bed with Alice laying wide awake next to me fussing and moving. I got her and pulled her onto my chest and after an all day fight, within a minute, she was out.
And so I slept finally with my daughter on my chest. Matt came home and still we slept. It wasn't just food she wanted, it was me. She just wanted to be near her mom.

I'm typing this sitting up in bed. Alice wouldn't sleep much last night once again though she gave us a few hour or two stretches. Matt brought her in for her 2nd morning feeding and laid her on the pillow in front of me and as I prepared to feed her again she was out. She's asleep on a breastfeeding pillow that's in front of me and I'm sleeping sitting up in bed because my baby just wants me. And that just... kills me.

- mobile blog post. spelling irrelevant.