Friday, March 31, 2017

right now i just get to be mommy

I am a Type A person 100%. Sure there's a bit of lazy in me but I like working, I like being busy, I like to do things. Right now though I am fighting the feeling like I have a bunch of unfinished things to do: a half eaten lunch, half drank cup of coffee, half read magazine, half finished journal entry, half written blog, half finished house projects. If those things stay half done for a half a day or too, what's the big deal right? Then why do I feel like I'm failing at something?
I need to keep telling myself that my only job right now is to take care of myself and the kids. If Alice wants me to sit while I was hoping to finish dusting the office then... I should sit. If Wally insists on being held the whole time while you're trying to make dinner well then... put him in a baby carrier and chop some broccoli. Matt's been doing a mountain lion's (what's bigger than a Lion?) share of work around here as always. We trade off on kid duty and try to let one only have a kid to deal with at a time. We have had a few evenings where one went to the movies and left the other one with both kids but that was all fine. We haven't had a date yet but hope to get that figured out soonish. And he gets frustrated when he's trying to accomplish something but Alice keeps interrupting. Toddlers and babies are needy, boy are they.
And it's not easy for us to relinquish that responsibility of trying to be productive or what have you. Sooner than I want it to be, I'll be back at work and will miss these days when I can just be mommy, now's the time for us to just... be.

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