Saturday, October 7, 2017

who takes care of you?

So I started therapy again. How's that for an opener? I went a few years ago to start dealing with my mom stuff but stopped due to laziness then children and after all that's been going on I decided probably good idea to go back. I went once but already I can see an overarching theme to the things going on and that is: who takes care of me?

I'm that person that takes care of people. I'm that person that naturally defaults to leadership. I have a tendency to be a mentor. I am a supervisor at work. I'm the big sister. Etc. All my life I've been that way and that has left me neglecting one person: me. Not taking care of my personal time. Not taking care of my body. Not taking care of my spirit. Not taking care of my mental health. I am low priority. And I mean, why does it matter? Who cares if I don't get time to take a bath or a massage or whatever except... that because I have three people depending on me. I have a mortgage and tenants. I have two kids and a husband. If I am not healthy, if I am not well, I am of no good to anyone. If I fall down the whole cookie crumbles. So while I may give a lot of myself to the good of everyone, I gotta learn to be good to me.

She says while pumping and staying up 'til midnight finishing up her work from the day since she didn't have time to finish and then only pumped once the whole day and ate lunch at 2pm and didn't have dinner and didn't drink enough water. Obviously, I have a lot of work to do.

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