the breast of times: adventures in milk making

First of all, I have been dreaming about breastfeeding my baby since I found out I was pregnant. I've been a staunch supporter of this most wonderful of things since well, my mother breastfed me for a year and to this day we all swear it's the reason I have such a great immune system. But I would literally have dreams where I was breastfeeding my baby and was really hoping I would be able to do it once Alice was born.

Thankfully, it's happening. It happened right from the minute they placed her in my arms. She wasted no time and went right to the source. I was so relieved, especially since we didn't have that special snuggle time after the operation, I said hello and they whisked her away. 

First off: I don't give a crap how you feed your baby. You do what you gotta do for your family. Right now we're going this route but let me tell you, it's HARD work. I am consumed by feeding this kid. At the moment we're going bottle-less and pacifier-less for a few weeks 'til Alice gets the hang of it before I start pumping and introducing bottles that would give me a break for a few minutes a day. When you are someone tiny's sole source of food, it is exhausting work believe you me. And it's not like you can do much while nursing either. You're basically confined to sitting or laying while holding a baby with your boob out and whatever you can do within a few inches reach. When not staring at her, I'm messing with my iPhone or iPad either on social media sites, pinterest, playing games, reading magazines or browsing blogs. I can also watch some Netflix on the ole iPad which is how I'm finishing "Call the Midwife". I'm trying to be in the moment and enjoy how teeny and needy she is and what a special bond we have that no one else in the world can have with her. We cuddle, we snuggle.

But, dude, it can get boring. Is that okay to admit? I am forced to sit still and if you know me, you know that's not my M.O. I don't do that, I multi-task. But with nursing a baby, you just gotta be still.

I have never known a hunger and thirst like breastfeeding hunger and thirst. My entire pregnancy I spent it waiting and waiting to get hungry and it never happened but now, I can down a tofu and fried rice plate in one sitting and suck down a bottle of water faster than you can say H2O. And I'm SUPPOSED to eat and snack all the time, as a breastfeeding mother I'm supposed to have an extra 500 calories a day and I am burning them like crazy. I have burned through so much that I am down to only 6 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. And that's not even a brag (well maybe a little), that's me telling you the facts and how much calories I'm burning. I don't care about losing weight or fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes or any of that business, I didn't while pregnant and I don't now. I'm in no hurry to be 100% back to looking normal, I just made a baby and am feeding a baby, my body can evidence it.

Weird things are the chills and then the sweats. One minute I am FREEZING and can't get warm enough and the next I'm heating up and sweating like crazy. That's hormones for you.

Currently she's having some crazy growth spurt that requires constant feeding and it is exhausting. This is hard work my friends and I am a tired woman. But… we soldier on. 'Cause she's worth it.