I'm not a fan of any holiday that forces people to go outside in mass. I'm not a fan of masses of people. The only time when I'm okay with masses is Disneyland and even then...
Well Saturday my family miraculously managed to leave only half an hour late from the time we were planning on leaving and arrived very promptly to Castaic Lake a few exits past Magic Mountain. We were very early and managed to score a great spot with a view of the lake and had a picnic table and a grill nearby. So, crisis averted. And sure there were lots of people with about 98% of them Mexican. What is it with my people and picnics and outdoor places? Is it because it's cheap? Is it because we run out of ideas and have no originality as far as activities are concerned and think that a day outside in a park is a good time? Is that the best we can do?
Thankfully a great time was had by all save for every other word out of my mother's mouth was a criticism about my sisters and how they would deal with the girls. Too hot. Too cold. Watch the baby. What the fuck does she think we do when she's not around? We just forget to feed them, watch them, let them eat stuff off the ground we aren't watching? Geebuz. Well the rest of us had a fun time whenever we were ignoring that crazy woman. We swam. We kayaked. We played badmiton. We sat around telling stories. We drank beers together. OMG my mom flipped about the beers, other story, other time. It was fun, it really really was. Despite being 100º, we had a great time. Definitely not something I want to do on a yearly basis but it was good for what it was. This time of my family's life is way more fun than being kids. I like us all being grown ups together.
July 3 we went to La Mirada Regional park to see the action for their 4th of July thing. MORE MASSES OF PEOPLE. This time though, it was about 70% WHITE people. Which is a much classier form of mass but it still looks messy. Maybe that's what bugs me about outdoor gatherings. They're messy. Folding chairs, while a necessity, are ugly as sin. Grilling makes food taste good but makes your clothes smell. Port-o-potties. And do we need to have plastic folding tables too? After that we watched the fireworks from Aunt J's house.
4th of July was spent nice and quietly also at Aunt J's. Potluck as usual and we had the annual golf chipping contest and had a few guests that told some awesome stories. First of all I learned that my family's been holding out on me and my uncle's dad worked on the Apollo missions! And another guest worked on the space shuttles! I was glued to my seat! After story time we went outside to watch the annual ritual of men being pyromaniacs and playing with fireworks.
Fireworks. I could care less. BOO EVY! BOO! Fourth of July: not my favorite holiday. Probably one of those holidays I rank right above Valentine's and St. Patrick's day and not do anything to celebrate them and be perfectly fine. Actually now that I think about it, I only care about Christmas and New Year's. All other holidays are unimportant. I grew up not being allowed to celebrate any of them but now I don't by choice, doesn't seem to matter if you do or don't.
I love America. I love and celebrate America every day. I don't need to wear red, white, and blue and go to a crowded anything and watch fireworks. I see fireworks all the time at Disneyland. I've seen them, cool, yay, woopie. Why do I have to leave my house? Can't I just watch John Adams and a broadcast of fireworks on TV from the comfort of my house?
I know, I sound so bitter and unhappy. I'm sorry. I've just been holding it in for so many years! I just don't care! I don't want to go out in folding chairs! I don't want to grill! I don't want to watch things blow up in the sky! I don't want to light anything on fire! I don't want to wear a flag!
I love you America, but you have plenty of other people partying it up for your birthday so next year and for the rest of my life, can I just bake you a little cupcake and blow out a candle for you in the comfort of my own home? I think you'd want it that way, you're the land of the free.