I'm about to get super vulnerable around here. Looking into my soul vulnerable.
As you know I like to throw a party or two. And with the addition of Alice, party throwing is a little more difficult because I have to juggle her and doing my party planning and as you can imagine, 7 months old don't quite get "sit here and don't fall on your noggin while I set up". Mostly I did stuff when she was asleep and got the grocery shopping done while she was in a carrier, asleep.
Well I decided to throw an Oscar party. I do them almost every year and they're very simple. Put out some cheese, pop some corn, pour out bubbly. Simple right? Well... you know me. But do the people that I invite to these parties know me?
What does it mean to a hostess when people won't come to her parties? Do they not like me? Am I not worth the effort? Why do I bother putting so much effort into this if nobody is gonna come? Why do I feel like I'm begging people to come?
It's a silly thought but I thought it. I try so hard to attend anything we're invited to. We've become professional party attenders Matt and I. I RSVP as soon as we confirm we can attend and then guess what, we attend. It's like saying, you matter, I will make the time and effort. And drive. And I'll bring a gift or offer to bring something. We try to be good guests, it's the polite thing to do.
Party throwing is my creative outlet. It's how I show I like you. I just want people to enjoy it and I want a bunch of them to come. Fill the house. I don't even need oodles of adulation, usually just a "this looks nice" is seriously seriously seriously good enough for me. It's my insecurity, my flaw.
Party on Wayne. Party on Garth.